FIRST EVER BOOK OUT
CONFINEMENT WEEK'S OVER

just came back from meeting a few rv bballers for a dinner and chat!
i love the whole lot of them (:

okayy i know im not supposed to blog anything about trainings and stuffs
but i guess reflections are fine?
enlistment was a sian sian thing for me
however this two weeks it made me realised things that i dont really know about myself!

to start off i shall just list a few
last time i always thought that i would be able to study overseas on my own
because i thought that i wouldnt mind staying alone in a brand new environment
but through the confinement week
i realised that i cant really move out of my own comfort zone easily
the first few days in confinement
i sorta felt like a reclusive old man refusing to talk to other elderly at the home
so im beginning to doubt whether i can survive overseas if i ever intend to study overseas
n by my comfort zone it refers to my friends and family

i missed everyone of them
i scrolled through my contact list and pictured their image in my mind
and it doesn really help that i didnt bring any pictures in or what
i missed everything i had as a civilian
my freedom ( u can also call it lack of organisation) to do what i wanted
and my ill discipline certainly didnt help at all


the next will be my phone!
i cant live without my phone for nuts (so i haf no idea how im gng to survive field camp zzz)
everytime im able to use my phone i'll use it
and once again it certainly didnt help that my phone is atrociously lousy
n the i had to go around with my thick skin to borrow phones so that i can use them!
thanks to the many people whom i troubled
im going to get another better but cheap phone! damn it

okay while i complained to people that i dont see ladies around in tekong
actually it doesnt really affect me much in that sense
im not exactly interested in people i dont know
but i really miss all my friends alot
and i wrote in my book that im going to hug them when i see them!


another thing is that im anything but optimistic in a dire situation
okay i wont classify my confinement week under 'dire situation'
but i swear that my first few days were one of the worst days in my life thus far
like i always tell people to look on the better side of issues
i have nv been able to do that myself
so i think im quite a failure in that sense
in fact im a 'worst case scenario person'
i started counting down the first day i went in
n i realised how slowly time crawled
and all the cussings and vulgarities just flew here and there in my mind


damn it i've so much to say but nothing's coming out right now
but i have to thank a few people and my notebook for keeping my sanity during the first few days of confinement
yeps if u read my notebook
u would probably think it's some robinson crusoe's writing
it's like talking to myself to keep sanity!
the first few days was living hell for me even though we didnt do anything much!
and im not kidding when i say im on the verge of losing sanity then
okayy i dont wanna say this but i shall be truthful
i teared every now and then when i thought of my friends and this question 'wtf am i doing at this place'
so apparently u can see how pessimistic i am
my mental strength is so damn damn lousy!
i have no idea how i m going to survive my two year of conscription


somehow i've got to learnt how to change this lousy mentality of mine!
somebody teach me how (dont say i nv warn u.. it's nv easy to change an idea in me)

if i have more i'll write again next time
for now im gng to sleep


LIGHTS OUT 0135
REVEILLE 0835