okayy outing today was a mix of emotion
i went through a weird sequences of emotional struggle within myself
okayy we were suppose to meet at 245pm
i dunno why
i know they will be late
but i always wont want to be late
even if i am
it will most probably be just 5-10 minutes late
still i turned up at 1447
okay but the first person other than me came at like 330
at 315 i was angry
angry because they were VERY LATE
(im actually quite particular about being punctual as vernon can understand
everything he's late i'll give him that roll eyes look)


after around 5 minutes
this anger subsided
it became sadness
i dont know why i felt sad
it just really didnt feel good in me
so i suddenly became very antisocial
i didnt really feel like talking
i keep wanting time alone
but i tried to appear normal (which i apparently failed horribly zzz)
okay so throughout the trip i was rather antisocial
n forcefully trying to engage myself in conversations so that i wont look that glum and affect everybody else

if it was any other group of people
i'd be so damn angry that i would just dao and go home (okay i nearly entertained the thoughts of going home if they didnt come by 345)

then i realise the reason why..
i love this group of people too much
so much that my normal self would be so fucked up by ppl who are one hour late
but my sadness vanished upon seeing them
im actually


okay on a lighter note
it was really sweet of the girls to prepare the stuffs for everybody
very much appreciated though i didnt really show it anyway!
LOVELY



actually i wouldnt have said all this if i didnt blurt out how i felt just now
under the influence of Mr. Absolut
i drank a little bit only but it was enough to sway my thinking!


2 more days!