(:

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Last day of 2009
2009 has been both unknowingly fast but agonisingly slow at the same time
The reason for it being agonisingly slow is pretty obvious
I think some people are sick of me saying it
But still I must say I don't feel a sense of purpose serving ns
I'll just take it as a NECESSARY process which will pass by soon, real soon
But that doesn't help my mentality at all zzz
And time passed real quick in terms of passing days
Maybe it's a problem unique to me but don't you feel that time passes faster and faster the older u grow? :X
Yea but I'm pretty glad that my bookouts were mostly spent fruitfully
By fruitful I don't exactly meant doing smthing meaningful
But rather fruitful = not wasting time away doing nothing playing or using comp the entire day
And this would not be possible if not for my friends and family

It would be pointless to talk about all the main events that happened this year cos there are quite a lot to speak about
it's all in the past year's entry (:
but a typical usually goes like this..
Fri bookout - meetups for dinner with individuals or late night man talks with yappy
Sat- meetups (with my favourite people, social, army pals, rv bball, nj bball, or random people :D) or bball trg with nj! Followed by stayover or hanging out until next morning
Sun- driving or morning bball session with rvbballers, afternoon and evening usually spent at home with family or a trip to the library (yes u read it right)
I must say I have had great weekends and am looking forward to the next 45 weekends coming up till I ORD
I am grateful for all everybody I have with me! It would be crazy to say my thanks to every single person but u know who you all are I'm (secretly) grateful and happy that I have u all (:
But I'm regretful for friends who were once close but gradually marginalised because 1. I neglected them, 2. Time simply do not allow frequent meetings, 3. Change is the only constant
I find option 3 very cynical yet that's the cold hard truth
All these people come and go
people who went into my life so deep
Yet they left so quick
So quick it left a mark
Like a bottomless pit

Okay so practically 2009 had been a year different from the past 12 years
For the first time during the period from september to novemeber do I not feel the end-of-year exams rush while many of my friends are immersed in all those panicky moments
Yea it's probably kinda interesting to experience/ view exam periods from a different pov
There would be people who don't really give a damn about exams
There would be people who seemingly isolate themselves and cut off contact from others in a bid to do well
Then you get all those bored nsf having practically nothing much to do during this period

Next, ns life is sort of love-hate relationship
Yes chances are there's more hate than love
But still you can't negate the love
The hate reasons are pretty obvious
Like the lack of purpose and lack of freedom
Ask most of the nsf and they will just quote a few out of our '101 reasons why we dislike NS' encyclopedia
So what do I love about it
The consistent monthly allowance has greatly increased my spending power
Something which I embrace with my arms wide open, really open
Hahah who would say no to money?
I have never eaten so much nice food within a year as compared to previous 18 year of my life
Which explains my -erhem- minute -erhem- increment in my body mass!
Is a 4 kg increase from 71 to 75kg a lot?
Hope not! :X

Ns also made me think that it would be really nice to have a girlfriend
Like having something to look forward to every week (:
But having said that
I won't rush into getting one since my social contacts is probably limited to whatever I have right now hahah

And obviously being exposed to a new group of people made me realised I'm not deserving of this 'good guy' image some people might have of me
I realised I'm selfish irresponsible uncaring ignorant inconsistent unfaithful at times
But of course not to a large extent if not I won't be able to stand myself too
still, it made me realised this ugly side of me exist
But.... I'm only human
My only consolation

Hope I will change for the better and not worse like this year
Every year is a time of self reflection and imrpovement!
Yeps that's about as much as I can think of for now.. It's getting late and probably shouldn't think so much for now hahah leave it for 2010 (:

bernana5 @ 9:56 PM